5 Ways to Combat Your Need For Constant Validation at Work

5 Ways to Combat Your Need For Constant Validation at Work If at work you... Are easily offended by constructive criticism,Take someone disagreeing with you personally,Change your mind because someones opinion conflicts with yours,Are over-committed,Dont stand up for yourself,Gossip,Are afraid to ask questions,Act like you agree with someone, but really dont,Fish for compliments,Are the first to apologize for the group project even when youre bedrngnis to blame,Behave contrary to your beliefs,Lack self-belief,Are self-critical,Or landseek permission when its not necessary,... then your need for validation is hurting your career.Its called self-esteem for a reason. You have to cultivate and practice it. No one can give it to you. As Wayne Dyer said, People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.Here are 5 ways to combat your need for affirmation1. Take time to reflect.Whats the origin of this need? Could you never live up to your p arents expectations, so now youre trying to make them proud? Was it hard to make friends in elementary school, so now you morph your personality to fit in? Did your heart get broken in college, and now you fear rejection? Identify where your need comes from so you can put it into perspective and move on. Come up with some personal affirmations to use when feeling insecure. Think like Stuart Smalley Im good enough, Im smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.2. Study people you admire.Most likely, the people you admire respect themselves. If its someone like Oprah Winfrey, read her 3. Set boundaries.You can only be a doormat if you lay down. So stand up, sister Youre the only one you have to answer to. If you dont like the way youre treated at work because you set yourself up poorly, only you can change it. Find your boundaries and learn to defend them. For example, if you took the entire offices trash out a couple of times to be nice and now its become expected of you, you can c hoose to stop. If you dont like it, stop doing it.4. Make friends with rejection.Its going to happen. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Have you ever made a mistake that cost you an assignment you really wanted? How did you recover? What did you learn? Did you figure out how not to make the same mistake again? See, it was a good thing Not the best thing, but a lesson from which you can grow.5. Embrace constant improvement.When youre criticized, think of it as feedback. Use it to help you grow. Concentrate on the message, not the medium. Filter out non-verbals like facial expressions and tone of voice. What are the actual words being said? Write them down to read objectively later. Remember If youre constantly developing, youre narrowing down the path to your full potential. Concentrate on what you can control, like process improvement. Keep track of your progress, because when you see evidence of your accomplishments, you feel good about yourself and others opinions mean les s to you.Everyone feels insecure sometimes. You have the power to validate yourself. All it takes is a little practice. Then, you can help someone else discover their inner strength.